This chapter is dedicated to Keng Barnes... a straight female who read my novels. Thank you hija. :)
No you don't love me Popoy! You love nothing but yourself!
Tumataginting na hiyaw ni Basty sa isipan. Wala sa plano niya ang pakikipagkita ngayon sana kay Popoy kundi lang siya inudyukan ng matinong bahagi ng isip niya na puntahan ito sa bagong bahay nito.
Wala na silang koneksiyon nito, as far as he was concerned. Pero ang makatanggap ng sulat mula rito at ng kopya ng susi ng bagong bahay nito ay nagbigay ng kaunting pag-asa sa puso niya. Pag-asa na magkaka-ayos silang dalawa.
But something hit him when he started reading the letter.
The fact that Popoy did not give him the key to his house personally meant only one thing. He doesn't want to deal with him anymore. That is why he sent him the key just so he could get his old things from his new house. As if he couldn't wait to get rid of those. Or simply put, get rid of him. Completely.
So typical of Popoy.
Kaya naman ng pagpunta niya roon ay laking gulat niya ng makitang naroroon ang kotse nito. Wala siyang pasabi kung kailan siya pupunta. Talagang hindi siya nagpasintabi rito. Ayaw rin naman niya itong makita sa ganoong estado ng pag-iisip niya.
But heavens must be planning something evil for he got the shock of his life when he saw Popoy walking out of the bathroom in his birthday suit. Imagine how that got him hard in an instant. Wala siyang ideya na ng isipin niyang naroroon sa kwarto nito ang mga lumang gamit niya ay makikita niya itong nakahubad. All for his eyes to see.
Agad ang pagbalot ng init sa katawan niya sa nakita pero nagpigil siya. Idinaan niya sa insulto ang lahat kahit pa gustong-gusto na niyang hablutin ito at gawin ang pinakainteresanteng bahagi ng pagsasama nila noon, their love makings.
Kahit sa opisina niya, ang paborito nilang sofa ay naroroon pa rin. Halos limang taon na ang tanda noon pero pinapapalitan lang niya ng cover at ipinapa-reupholster lang becaue of sentimental reasons. Halos mawasak na nila ang sofa na iyon pero hindi niya magawang maipatapon. Kahit ngayong hindi na sila.
And now... Popoy was telling him he loved him?
Ganoon lang ba iyon? He knew that what they were talking about a while ago was closure. Hindi niya na kasi mapigilang ibulalas dito ang lahat. Everyone thought of him as the evil one. The bad one. Where in fact Popoy is the main reason they broke up.
Of course, they were both busy. But he can handle his appointments well. Ano bang silbi ng salitang time-management kung hindi mo gagamitin? Pero mukhang sa kaso ni Popoy ay hindi nito alam iyon. They could always make love? Sure they can, but the question was when is the most convenient time? And was Popoy giving his all whenever he's thrusting so deep within him?
It was so frustrating on his part that whenever they were making love, it was like a deed that has to get over and done with. The intensity was there but it was lacking something. From Popoy's part.
Naramdaman niya ang panginginig ng katawan ni Popoy sa ilalim niya. He liked it whenever he was doing it. He felt like a king. Popoy never fail to make him feel like that. But then, it was like hitting an impossible target. Because Popoy was here and then he was gone the next minute.
He moved very slowly. Pinning the man under him so that the accommodation will be swifter. God how he missed the man. Walang araw sa buhay niya ang hindi ito nami-miss that's why he looked for his exact opposite. Nakilala niya si Nikkos. A very good listener.
Gusto niya ng diversion mula sa pag-iisip kay Popoy. Kung hindi niya gagawin iyon ay mababaliw siya. Wala siyang paki-alam kung pinagtatawanan siya ng mga kakilala nila. As long as it can keep him from thinking about Popoy, its okay.
Nang makilala niya si Nikkos ay nag-click kaagad sila. He felt what he first felt when he and Popoy met. He was excited about getting to know the man more. At nakita niyang lahat kay Nikkos ang hindi niya nakita kay Popoy.
Nikkos was submissive and coy. Mahiyain rin ito pero may sense kausap. Hindi lang talaga ito masalita pero nagtatanong rin naman subalit hindi nakikipagtalo sa mga suhestiyon niya. Hindi rin nakikipagdebate -na palaging nangyayari kapag si Popoy ang kasama niya.
Simpleng mga bagay lang katulad ng kung ano ang kakainin. Kung saan kakain. Pinagtatalunan pa nila ni Popoy. Kay Nikkos, wala ang mga iyon. Hindi na ito nagtatanong pa, bagkus, game na game na sinasamahan siya nito kapag may problema siya. Kaya naman naging sila.
Kay Nikkos, wala siyang kalabang kakampi ang mismong nobyo niya. Kay Popoy, you had to get in line to be with him. He was never submissive. Nikkos could set everything aside in his life for him. Nakita niyang lahat iyon dito.
And so he broke up with Popoy. And he dated Nikkos afterwards. They talked. They dined out. And after one month sila na. At isang buwan pa lang... bored na siya.
Man, he was bored out of his fucking wits! Yet, may mga times na maayos naman sialng dalawa ni Nikkos. Na-appreciate pa rin naman niya ang paglalaan nito ng oras, ang pag-aasikaso. In fact, he even bought him a condo just so they could cuddle each other whenever he is lonely, something that never happened when both Popoy and him got very busy. But still, the boredom struck every now and then. It was weird what he felt. At naiisip niyang siguro ay inaalipin lang siya ng kanyang nakaraan. Nasanay lang siguro siya na lahat ng bagay sa relasyon ay mayroon challenge at ngayong wala ng tila obstacle course na nakaharang para makasama ang kanyang boyfriend, saka naman siya nabo-bore.
Naiinis siya na nagkaganoon ang mind-set niya sa relationships ng dahil kay Popoy. Kaya nga siya nakipaghiwalay rito kasi ayaw niya ng ganoong scenario pero bakit ganoon ang hinahanap niya ngayon? Para siayng addict na tumigil na sa pagdodroga pero hinahanap pa rin iyon sa tagal ng pagkakasanay sa paggamit niyon.
Napagdesisyonan niya na panatilihin at panghawakan pa ang relasyon kay Nikkos. Hindi tama an gpagkakaroon ng pagdadalawang-isip. Unfair iyon sa nobyo niya ngayon. Masaya naman silang dalawa. Huwag lang isali ang boredom niya.
He remembered his relationship with Popoy. They were very happy then. Damn happy, in fact, he decided to ask for his hand in marriage once they had the chance to go on a vacation. He would like to marry him someday But that was too far-fetched now. Everything in Popoy's life is in order. It's always been like that. It has always been the case.
It looked like someday will never come. Popoy changed and he needed so much more than his spare time.
Basty had to admit though that kissing him, touching him, felt so awesome it reminded him of the way it used to be between him and Popoy.
Iniharap niya ang katawan nito. Without breaking the contact. He could see Popoy's mesmerizing eyes.
"Kiss me Popoy."
Tumalima ito. He liked it when he was submissive like that.