Monday, October 29, 2012

The Shed

There is no other way to do this…

“I love you”, you said.

I smiled as I read your text message.

But then that smile immediately turned upside down.

I walked home as I thought about how I was hurting you. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t want this to happen.

I first met you by the road. It was a very usual day. I was by a shed waiting for my ride when I noticed you looking at me. I just gave you a nod and smiled a little.

“Hi.”, you said.

I was shocked when you approached me. I thought you were some lunatic that would mug me.

But still.. I said, “Hey.”

You released a gentle smile.

I can’t exactly remember how things went after that. I just soon found myself enjoying your company. You were smart and funny. And very jolly I must say.

We were good friends until that very day you told me about how you feel.

You were falling for me.

I appreciated. But then felt sad.

You were very patient though I know I am hurting you in ways I know, are intentional on my side. I wasn’t fair.

But still, you tried to pursue me.

My conscience is eating me up. I couldn’t do this. You know me. I know you.

You’re the kind of guy who is afraid of commitments. A guy who doesn’t want strings attached with. I understood. You were my friend after all.

But me? How come you can’t understand? I can’t be the guy for you. I never will. Please understand.

“I love you.” – this were the words I don’t want coming from you. Please don’t. I want you as a friend. And I want it to stay that way.

Still, you loved me.

And now, we’re sitting inside a cafe. I can see tears falling from your eyes. It was my own doing. I don’t want to see you like this. But, I have to. This isn’t fair. Not to you.

I told you not to love me.

You deserve someone better. Not me.

I handed you my handkerchief as I again explained why we can’t be together.

I gave a deep sigh.

You cried again.

I couldn’t stand it any longer.

I stood up and gave you a firm hug and I whispered something that made you cry even harder.

I gave you a kiss on the cheeks and left.

I cried the heaviest tears as I left the café. It was excruciatingly painful. I never wanted to hurt someone. Not you, not anyone.

But I had to tell you those words. I know it was intentional.

And I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I hurt you.

I soon reached my house and quickly turned the knob.

There I saw him. The reason why I intentionally hurt you.

I gave him a bright smile as I felt contentment as I looked into his eyes.

I know I made the only decision that ever was.

I rushed to him and gave him a tight hug as I remembered the words I said to you.

“I love him too much to hurt him… I’m sorry… All I can ever be is be a friend to you…”


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